You have cancer: Interview w/author, speaker, Connie Pombo (GIVEAWAY!)
Connie is an author, nationally-known speaker, and breast cancer survivor. Today she talks with CML about how cancer didn't stop her, but taught her how to pursue her passions and to make her own "bucket list"! Connie also also offers one lucky Momlogic reader an amazing GIVEAWAY basket! How cool is that?
Suzie: How old were you when you were diagnosed with cancer, and what was your reaction?
Connie: I was 40 years old when I first heard the words, “you have cancer.” And I have to say it was the closest to an out-of-body experience I have ever gone through. I called the surgeon’s office to get the results because the weekend was looming, and I couldn’t go one more day without knowing.
Mark, my hubby, was standing beside me when I got the news; he caught me before I slid off the chair. My first words were, “What did I do wrong?” I was an avid runner, worked out faithfully, and ate tofu when no one else knew what it was, and I still got breast cancer! Shock was my initial reaction, followed closely by anger, fear, and denial. The shock finally wore off on the last day of treatment when the radiation oncologist gave me my true survival rate, and then I slipped into a “coma.” My family refers to that period of time as the “silent years.” Actually, it was only one month; it just seemed so much longer.
Suzie: Once the shock wore off, what happened then?
Connie: Facing my own mortality was the best thing that ever happened to me. Out of the “ashes” of my life came a newfound sense of the preciousness of life and the desire to make the most of every moment, and to live long enough to see my boys through safe passage into adulthood. They were just 9 and 14 when they heard the word, “cancer” in our family; they are now 22 and 27 pursuing passions of their own which my bout with breast cancer taught them to do.
One of the first things I did when God revived me from my “sleeping” state was to write down 27 things I wanted to do before I died. I’ve accomplished every single one—by God’s grace—except #27, parachute out of an airplane! I have replaced that one with a hot-air balloon ride which we will do on November 15th for our 33rd wedding anniversary.
Suzie: LOL! I love that. Who knew if you would have done those things otherwise! You speak to women around the nation who are breast cancer survivors. If you could put your message in one paragraph, what would it be?
Connie: Live in the present moment and pursue your passions! Stop putting on hold the things you’ve always wanted to do and make your passionate to-do list NOW. Don’t wait for a cancer diagnosis to start living—do it today. I wake up every morning and ask myself the same question, “This is your last day on earth; how do you want to leave it?”
Priorities come into sharp focus when you ask yourself that question. Cancer is a hard teacher, but the lessons are invaluable. A nurse oncologist gave me the best advice: “Cancer isn’t the end of life; it’s the beginning of a totally new life—one of joy, purpose, and passion.” I took her advice and I’m so thankful I did.
Suzie: As you know I'm also a BC survivor. Sometimes we get labeled by that title. Tell us about Connie, not the breast cancer survivor, but the woman.
Connie: The woman—Connie—is still a “little” girl. I find joy and wonder in the smallest of things, like watching the “sailboat” floating in the foam of my cappuccino. I laugh and giggle all through the day—mostly at myself because I do the silliest things. Today I looked for my car keys for 15 minutes, and they were in my hand the entire time. I just sat down on the porch step and laughed out loud for ten minutes until tears rolled down my face. I don’t consider it a true laugh until you cry real tears. I don’t take myself too seriously. My author friend, Kathy Pride, keeps me grounded in laughter when I get too serious!
My family is everything to me…my boys, my hubby and my extended family (all in California). And above all else, God is my center. I can’t start my day without Him. Before my feet touch the ground, I pray over my list of things to do and then I offer it up to Him. And sometimes, I find that the “Connie” things don’t get done at all, but the God things do. Balance is something that these past 12 years of cancer survivorship have taught me (and the subject of my next book).
Suzie: Many people don't know what to do or say when a loved one or friend is diagnosed. What is your advice?
Connie: I devote an entire chapter of my book to that very subject. I’ll never forget one letter I received that said, “What a horrible, awful thing that has happened to you—losing your breasts!” Well, first of all, I didn’t “lose” my breasts; they just got moved around a bit—okay a lot! Instead, I preferred humorous cards like the one I received when I couldn’t make up my mind about lumpectomy or mastectomy. It read: “When life hands you lemons, stick ‘em in your bra; can’t hurt….might help!”
Suzie: I totally agree. I wanted people to still see ME. I heard about cancer and all of the stats and treatment so much during that time from my treatment team, that when a friend or family member talked only about cancer I wanted to stand on the rooftops and scream, "I'm still me!". I still loved all the things I did the day before I found out I had cancer. I still loved to laugh. I wanted to talk about girlfriend stuff, life, laughter, family, God, and so much more. Great point, Connie.
Connie: My point is every person is different. The most important thing is to take your cue from the survivor. There are days when your loved one or friend will want to talk about everything from diagnosis to surgical treatment options. Other days, she may want to forget she even heard the word “cancer,” and wants to go feed the ducks. Other days, she may want you to hold her hand and just listen. In my book, I share helps and hints for the caregiver, family and friends on what to say and how to help during each phase of the cancer journey: shock, anger, fear, denial, depression, and living life passionately. The most important thing is to not disappear! Some of my friends did and I don’t blame them—quite frankly. But when in doubt about what to say, it’s better to make it brief and say, “We love you and you’re in our prayers.” You can never go wrong with that.
Suzie: You are a writer and a speaker. Tell us about a typical day or week in your life.
Connie: Typical, are you kidding? What’s a typical day…I want to know? My life has been a roller coaster since my husband broke his hip on Mother’s Day of this year while he was training for a triathlon. He just started back to work full-time this week and I’m four months behind on my life! This has prepared me somewhat for what “retirement” is going to be like.
Umm…normal—huh? Here’s a stab at it: I wake up around 7:00 a.m. and quickly “smother” the alarm with my pillow. After that I reach for my Bible with the to-do list and offer it as a “burnt” offering. After prayer and journaling, I head downstairs for breakfast and then I jog three miles (outside if nice or the gym if it’s raining!). Actually my jog is more of a hobble these days! Then I set banker’s hours (9:00 – 5:00 p.m.). I have learned to close the office door at 5:00 p.m., but that doesn’t mean that I don’t sneak back in again. It takes me about two hours to respond to e-mail and write personal notes, letters, and phone calls.
Then I plan for two hours of writing (since my next book is on BALANCE, I’m trying to live it). Then I take a brief lunch and walk with my digital recording device (that’s when I get all kinds of ideas—that and taking a shower. Running water triggers the “idea” center of my brain for some reason). I come back home and transcribe what I “talked” about. And then I check my e-mails again, write on my three blogs, and study (prepare and practice speeches). Before hubby gets home, I clean up the office and put the files that I’m working on in a red folder (most urgent); green folder is for the next day (second most urgent); and yellow means I have to wait for a response. Everything in my office is color-coded.
During the evening, I make follow-up phone calls unless they are meeting planners; I call before 5:00 p.m. Then I run around the house like a crazy person—cooking and cleaning—as if I spent the entire day doing it. The one luxury “item,” that I have is a cleaning service once a month and quite frankly I don’t know how I survived without it. It was a gift after Mark’s injury and the best gift I have ever received. On the weekends, I try to catch up on updating my Web sites, cleaning out my Inbox, and reading. Sunday is a day of rest (truly!), and nap time. All this is “normal” except for when I’m traveling—usually the months of May-June and October-January.
Suzie: You are offering a giveaway to readers of this blog who comment! Tell us about the giveaway.
Connie: Yes, isn’t this fun…something for FREE! I’m giving away a customized “Basket Full of Hope” in honor of breast cancer awareness month (that begins this next Wednesday). It includes: my book, Trading Ashes for Roses; breast cancer mug with herbal tea; breast cancer pin; “The Passionate Rose” by the Healing Garden (body scrub and lotion); Cards by Connie; Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate (is there any other kind?) with raspberry filling; a bath scrubby; scented candle; pink ribbon breast cancer socks, and a “Quiet Relaxation” CD.
Thanks, Suzie, for the opportunity to share a little bit about who I am and what I do. I think Momlogic is a great place I’ve so much enjoyed getting to know you. It’s always a joy when I find someone like yourself who has discovered their passion through going through the breast cancer journey. It’s nothing we wish on anyone, but what an amazing mixed blessing!
LADIES: To enter the giveaway, you need to comment on this post between NOW and next Friday at 8 a.m. One lucky winner will receive the giveaway with Connie's book (autographed personally to you or to a friend or loved one) and all the goodies!
To contact Connie: Website - Connie's Blog - Connie's Momlogic site.
13 Comments
Comment by Tina on September 27, 2008 at 9:46am
- What an amazing story of faith, passion, and strength. You are such an inspiration and blessing to all women. Sometimes life has us busy focusing on all the things that don't really matter that we neglect the things that really do. I am inspired by just reading this blog, i can't wait to read your book. Thanks for sharing your story. May God continue to bless you and use you to bless others with your words of hope.
Comment by Tracy Ruckman on September 27, 2008 at 11:07am
- Great interview! Both of you are such an inspiration and encouragement - and that's only two of the reasons I stalk both of your blogs! :-)
May God continue to bless your lives and your ministries.
Comment by Brenda Nixon on September 27, 2008 at 3:40pm
- Wonderful interview! My SIL is a cancer survivor.
I'm with Connie -- what's a typical day for a writer/speaker? LOL
Comment by Flea on September 27, 2008 at 3:44pm
- Way cool! Connie, you continually amaze me. Can't wait to read your book about balance. Need it!
Comment by Its me..Marie on September 28, 2008 at 12:27am
- Wow Suzie, I didn't know you were a BC survivor. Thanks for sharing this very interesting interview, it made me realize that I do need to start doing more for myself bc I'm always doing for others and I get so caught up in it all until I get to the point of breakdown. I need a list also which I will start on ASAP. Thanks again for sharing!
Comment by Connie Pombo on September 29, 2008 at 6:55am
- Delete Comment Thanks so much everyone!
The month of pink is coming quickly and with it the opportunity to share with others the importance of breast cancer awareness. A self-breast exam saved my life!
The problem: No one thinks it can happen to them.
On the day of my surgery, I met another cancer survivor--she was diagnosed at 18 years of age--and had double mastectomies. No one is excluded from this disease. But through it, I learned the most important lessons of my life and each day is a blessing to me.
Thanks for stopping by Tina (words of HOPE...that's my message!); Tracy (LOL...stalking our blogs!); Brenda (bless your sister); Flea (BALANCE...I'm still learning!); Marie (I know...Suzie's story is AMAZING!).
HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!
Connie
Comment by T. Suzanne Eller on September 29, 2008 at 7:12am
- Thank you, Connie. I was only 31 when I found the lump. Cancer was the farthest thing from my mind or life at that time. I delayed going to the doctor for 3 months. HUGE mistake. So ladies, everyone stop reading right now and do a self-breast exam.
Comment by LaShaunda on September 29, 2008 at 7:26am
- Thanks for sharing Suzie and Connie. My aunt went home to the Lord two weeks ago after a strong fight. Her courage inspired me. After watching the bucket list, I made my own list and hope to complete all them. I'm adding the hot air balloon, because I to wanted to jump out of plan, but I think I'll try the balloon instead.
- Comment by Connie Pombo on September 29, 2008 at 7:57am
- Delete Comment I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt, but she's where we all want to be! And congratulations for making your "bucket" list!
I broke my foot in Italy four years ago, and never had surgery. I cried buckets of tears when the orthopedist told me that "jumping out of an airplane" would prove "fatal" to my foot. You have to take that lightly when you're a breast cancer survivor. So I switched to plan B--hot air balloon ride. Cancer has taught me to be flexible with my plans.
Comment by Wanda on October 1, 2008 at 6:48am
- Connie....you like Suzie...are an inspiration! Thank you so much for what you do. I loved the interview. So many women are affected by this disease and not too many know how to deal. God bless you for sharing!
You have cancer: Interview w/author, speaker, Connie Pombo (GIVEAWAY!)
Connie is an author, nationally-known speaker, and breast cancer survivor. Today she talks with CML about how cancer didn't stop her, but taught her how to pursue her passions and to make her own "bucket list"! Connie also also offers one lucky Momlogic reader an amazing GIVEAWAY basket! How cool is that?Suzie: How old were you when you were diagnosed with cancer, and what was your reaction?
Connie: I was 40 years old when I first heard the words, “you have cancer.” And I have to say it was the closest to an out-of-body experience I have ever gone through. I called the surgeon’s office to get the results because the weekend was looming, and I couldn’t go one more day without knowing.
Mark, my hubby, was standing beside me when I got the news; he caught me before I slid off the chair. My first words were, “What did I do wrong?” I was an avid runner, worked out faithfully, and ate tofu when no one else knew what it was, and I still got breast cancer! Shock was my initial reaction, followed closely by anger, fear, and denial. The shock finally wore off on the last day of treatment when the radiation oncologist gave me my true survival rate, and then I slipped into a “coma.” My family refers to that period of time as the “silent years.” Actually, it was only one month; it just seemed so much longer.
Suzie: Once the shock wore off, what happened then?
Connie: Facing my own mortality was the best thing that ever happened to me. Out of the “ashes” of my life came a newfound sense of the preciousness of life and the desire to make the most of every moment, and to live long enough to see my boys through safe passage into adulthood. They were just 9 and 14 when they heard the word, “cancer” in our family; they are now 22 and 27 pursuing passions of their own which my bout with breast cancer taught them to do.
One of the first things I did when God revived me from my “sleeping” state was to write down 27 things I wanted to do before I died. I’ve accomplished every single one—by God’s grace—except #27, parachute out of an airplane! I have replaced that one with a hot-air balloon ride which we will do on November 15th for our 33rd wedding anniversary.
Suzie: LOL! I love that. Who knew if you would have done those things otherwise! You speak to women around the nation who are breast cancer survivors. If you could put your message in one paragraph, what would it be?
Connie: Live in the present moment and pursue your passions! Stop putting on hold the things you’ve always wanted to do and make your passionate to-do list NOW. Don’t wait for a cancer diagnosis to start living—do it today. I wake up every morning and ask myself the same question, “This is your last day on earth; how do you want to leave it?”
Priorities come into sharp focus when you ask yourself that question. Cancer is a hard teacher, but the lessons are invaluable. A nurse oncologist gave me the best advice: “Cancer isn’t the end of life; it’s the beginning of a totally new life—one of joy, purpose, and passion.” I took her advice and I’m so thankful I did.
Suzie: As you know I'm also a BC survivor. Sometimes we get labeled by that title. Tell us about Connie, not the breast cancer survivor, but the woman.
Connie: The woman—Connie—is still a “little” girl. I find joy and wonder in the smallest of things, like watching the “sailboat” floating in the foam of my cappuccino. I laugh and giggle all through the day—mostly at myself because I do the silliest things. Today I looked for my car keys for 15 minutes, and they were in my hand the entire time. I just sat down on the porch step and laughed out loud for ten minutes until tears rolled down my face. I don’t consider it a true laugh until you cry real tears. I don’t take myself too seriously. My author friend, Kathy Pride, keeps me grounded in laughter when I get too serious!
My family is everything to me…my boys, my hubby and my extended family (all in California). And above all else, God is my center. I can’t start my day without Him. Before my feet touch the ground, I pray over my list of things to do and then I offer it up to Him. And sometimes, I find that the “Connie” things don’t get done at all, but the God things do. Balance is something that these past 12 years of cancer survivorship have taught me (and the subject of my next book).
Suzie: Many people don't know what to do or say when a loved one or friend is diagnosed. What is your advice?
Connie: I devote an entire chapter of my book to that very subject. I’ll never forget one letter I received that said, “What a horrible, awful thing that has happened to you—losing your breasts!” Well, first of all, I didn’t “lose” my breasts; they just got moved around a bit—okay a lot! Instead, I preferred humorous cards like the one I received when I couldn’t make up my mind about lumpectomy or mastectomy. It read: “When life hands you lemons, stick ‘em in your bra; can’t hurt….might help!”
Suzie: I totally agree. I wanted people to still see ME. I heard about cancer and all of the stats and treatment so much during that time from my treatment team, that when a friend or family member talked only about cancer I wanted to stand on the rooftops and scream, "I'm still me!". I still loved all the things I did the day before I found out I had cancer. I still loved to laugh. I wanted to talk about girlfriend stuff, life, laughter, family, God, and so much more. Great point, Connie.
Connie: My point is every person is different. The most important thing is to take your cue from the survivor. There are days when your loved one or friend will want to talk about everything from diagnosis to surgical treatment options. Other days, she may want to forget she even heard the word “cancer,” and wants to go feed the ducks. Other days, she may want you to hold her hand and just listen. In my book, I share helps and hints for the caregiver, family and friends on what to say and how to help during each phase of the cancer journey: shock, anger, fear, denial, depression, and living life passionately. The most important thing is to not disappear! Some of my friends did and I don’t blame them—quite frankly. But when in doubt about what to say, it’s better to make it brief and say, “We love you and you’re in our prayers.” You can never go wrong with that.
Suzie: You are a writer and a speaker. Tell us about a typical day or week in your life.
Connie: Typical, are you kidding? What’s a typical day…I want to know? My life has been a roller coaster since my husband broke his hip on Mother’s Day of this year while he was training for a triathlon. He just started back to work full-time this week and I’m four months behind on my life! This has prepared me somewhat for what “retirement” is going to be like.
Umm…normal—huh? Here’s a stab at it: I wake up around 7:00 a.m. and quickly “smother” the alarm with my pillow. After that I reach for my Bible with the to-do list and offer it as a “burnt” offering. After prayer and journaling, I head downstairs for breakfast and then I jog three miles (outside if nice or the gym if it’s raining!). Actually my jog is more of a hobble these days! Then I set banker’s hours (9:00 – 5:00 p.m.). I have learned to close the office door at 5:00 p.m., but that doesn’t mean that I don’t sneak back in again. It takes me about two hours to respond to e-mail and write personal notes, letters, and phone calls.
Then I plan for two hours of writing (since my next book is on BALANCE, I’m trying to live it). Then I take a brief lunch and walk with my digital recording device (that’s when I get all kinds of ideas—that and taking a shower. Running water triggers the “idea” center of my brain for some reason). I come back home and transcribe what I “talked” about. And then I check my e-mails again, write on my three blogs, and study (prepare and practice speeches). Before hubby gets home, I clean up the office and put the files that I’m working on in a red folder (most urgent); green folder is for the next day (second most urgent); and yellow means I have to wait for a response. Everything in my office is color-coded.
During the evening, I make follow-up phone calls unless they are meeting planners; I call before 5:00 p.m. Then I run around the house like a crazy person—cooking and cleaning—as if I spent the entire day doing it. The one luxury “item,” that I have is a cleaning service once a month and quite frankly I don’t know how I survived without it. It was a gift after Mark’s injury and the best gift I have ever received. On the weekends, I try to catch up on updating my Web sites, cleaning out my Inbox, and reading. Sunday is a day of rest (truly!), and nap time. All this is “normal” except for when I’m traveling—usually the months of May-June and October-January.
Suzie: You are offering a giveaway to readers of this blog who comment! Tell us about the giveaway.
Connie: Yes, isn’t this fun…something for FREE! I’m giving away a customized “Basket Full of Hope” in honor of breast cancer awareness month (that begins this next Wednesday). It includes: my book, Trading Ashes for Roses; breast cancer mug with herbal tea; breast cancer pin; “The Passionate Rose” by the Healing Garden (body scrub and lotion); Cards by Connie; Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate (is there any other kind?) with raspberry filling; a bath scrubby; scented candle; pink ribbon breast cancer socks, and a “Quiet Relaxation” CD.
Thanks, Suzie, for the opportunity to share a little bit about who I am and what I do. I think Momlogic is a great place I’ve so much enjoyed getting to know you. It’s always a joy when I find someone like yourself who has discovered their passion through going through the breast cancer journey. It’s nothing we wish on anyone, but what an amazing mixed blessing!
LADIES: To enter the giveaway, you need to comment on this post between NOW and next Friday at 8 a.m. One lucky winner will receive the giveaway with Connie's book (autographed personally to you or to a friend or loved one) and all the goodies!
To contact Connie: Website - Connie's Blog - Connie's Momlogic site.
13 Comments
- Comment by Tina on September 27, 2008 at 9:46am
- What an amazing story of faith, passion, and strength. You are such an inspiration and blessing to all women. Sometimes life has us busy focusing on all the things that don't really matter that we neglect the things that really do. I am inspired by just reading this blog, i can't wait to read your book. Thanks for sharing your story. May God continue to bless you and use you to bless others with your words of hope.
- Comment by Tracy Ruckman on September 27, 2008 at 11:07am
- Great interview! Both of you are such an inspiration and encouragement - and that's only two of the reasons I stalk both of your blogs! :-)
May God continue to bless your lives and your ministries.
- Comment by Brenda Nixon on September 27, 2008 at 3:40pm
- Wonderful interview! My SIL is a cancer survivor.
I'm with Connie -- what's a typical day for a writer/speaker? LOL
- Comment by Flea on September 27, 2008 at 3:44pm
- Way cool! Connie, you continually amaze me. Can't wait to read your book about balance. Need it!
- Comment by Its me..Marie on September 28, 2008 at 12:27am
- Wow Suzie, I didn't know you were a BC survivor. Thanks for sharing this very interesting interview, it made me realize that I do need to start doing more for myself bc I'm always doing for others and I get so caught up in it all until I get to the point of breakdown. I need a list also which I will start on ASAP. Thanks again for sharing!
- Comment by Connie Pombo on September 29, 2008 at 6:55am
- Delete Comment Thanks so much everyone!
The month of pink is coming quickly and with it the opportunity to share with others the importance of breast cancer awareness. A self-breast exam saved my life!
The problem: No one thinks it can happen to them.
On the day of my surgery, I met another cancer survivor--she was diagnosed at 18 years of age--and had double mastectomies. No one is excluded from this disease. But through it, I learned the most important lessons of my life and each day is a blessing to me.
Thanks for stopping by Tina (words of HOPE...that's my message!); Tracy (LOL...stalking our blogs!); Brenda (bless your sister); Flea (BALANCE...I'm still learning!); Marie (I know...Suzie's story is AMAZING!).
HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!
Connie
- Comment by T. Suzanne Eller on September 29, 2008 at 7:12am
- Thank you, Connie. I was only 31 when I found the lump. Cancer was the farthest thing from my mind or life at that time. I delayed going to the doctor for 3 months. HUGE mistake. So ladies, everyone stop reading right now and do a self-breast exam.
- Comment by LaShaunda on September 29, 2008 at 7:26am
- Thanks for sharing Suzie and Connie. My aunt went home to the Lord two weeks ago after a strong fight. Her courage inspired me. After watching the bucket list, I made my own list and hope to complete all them. I'm adding the hot air balloon, because I to wanted to jump out of plan, but I think I'll try the balloon instead.
- Comment by Connie Pombo on September 29, 2008 at 7:57am
- Delete Comment I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt, but she's where we all want to be! And congratulations for making your "bucket" list!
I broke my foot in Italy four years ago, and never had surgery. I cried buckets of tears when the orthopedist told me that "jumping out of an airplane" would prove "fatal" to my foot. You have to take that lightly when you're a breast cancer survivor. So I switched to plan B--hot air balloon ride. Cancer has taught me to be flexible with my plans.
- Comment by Wanda on October 1, 2008 at 6:48am
- Connie....you like Suzie...are an inspiration! Thank you so much for what you do. I loved the interview. So many women are affected by this disease and not too many know how to deal. God bless you for sharing!
Radio Interview: Third Age Radio Show, Santa Barbara California (July 1,2008) LIVE with Dr. Peter Brill and David Debin. Connie will be discussing her book, Trading Ashes for Roses: From Pain to Passion. Click here to listen to a portion of the interview.
In the News: New York's Lower Hudson Valley News by Ken Valenti, The Support Connection Luncheon. Click here to read the article.
In the News: Interview by Linda Espenshade for Lancaster News on Chicken Soup for the Coffee Lover's Soul - Click here to read the article.
In the News: I'm Glad I'm a Mom by Harvest House, interview by Jo-Ann Greene, Intelligencer Journal. Click here to read the article.
In the News: Interview by Jo-Ann Greene on The One Year Life Verse by Tyndale House Publishers: Click here to read the article.